Now is the time of year that my practice is inundated with questions about how to handle the holidays and that one difficult family member.
Category: Relationships
Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are
Yesterday was National Dog Day. Lots of people made a fuss about it and posted pictures of their favorite Fido or fluffy online. Debates were had about what breed of dog is the best. The consensus was: whatever the person’s favorite particular breed was, followed closely by pretty much any other dog breed. Just had…
Talk to Each Other Already!
I’ve been reading advice columns lately. Pretty nerdy thing to do, but I find them incredibly interesting. I love seeing the difference between therapy (what I do) and advice giving (which, as much as folks want me to, is not really what I’m supposed to offer). It’s fascinating what the variety of advice columnists will…
Primary Purpose in Long-Term Relationships
Quick, what do you think is one of the most primary purposes of long-term romantic relationships? Creating a family? Protecting financial interests? Being in love? While each of these is a possibility (although if you’re only in relationship to protect finances, I’d argue you’re missing out), there is a foundational principle to a long-term romantic…
8 Tips To Improve Your Relationship, Courtesy Of International Relations
Article by Andrea Jones Rooy (Reposted from FiveThirtyEight) A big part of the science of international relations is the study of the causes of war. But it’s also about how nations can cooperate — like signing treaties, providing aid and generally promising not to kill each others’ citizens. It considers humans on the grandest, most…
Realistic Life Balance
The other day, a client asked me to explain, “how do you get to it all?” She wanted a concrete explanation of how to actually field the various roles and responsibilities life throws our way, while also maintaining some semblance of health, without a sense of constant overwhelm. She was talking about how to manage…
The Emotional Cost of Change in Relationships
Making changes around in your life? I bet you have calculated the cost of these changes, and probably even figured out who will oversee the change. Maybe you even figured out a time estimate of how much of your schedule will be devoted to implementing the change. However, what I am betting is that what…
Get Off The Raging River
Interpersonal anger can seem a lot like a wild, whitewater river, rushing us along swiftly until we crash into the rocks. It feels like one step leads inevitably to another, without options or choice. If you’ve had that experience with rage, you might want to slow your actions down and see that there are actually…
45 Ideas to Help Soothe, Inspire & Ponder
I turned 45 this year. In honor of this big birthday, here are 45 ideas, thoughts, musings that I’ve gained over the years. In my lifelong quest for learning, I am always on the lookout for data that will help make me a better person, or (hopefully) contribute to making the world a better place.…
Why Aren’t You...Me?
In collecting information about the various and sundry complaints people bring to me about their relationships, the themes and issues vary widely. I have heard everything from small issues (why are things thrown next to the laundry hamper instead of in it?) to irritations that grow over time (I’m a night owl, why does she…