The other day, a client asked me to explain, “how do you get to it all?” She wanted a concrete explanation of how to actually field the various roles and responsibilities life throws our way, while also maintaining some semblance of health, without a sense of constant overwhelm. She was talking about how to manage…
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The Emotional Cost of Change in Relationships
Making changes around in your life? I bet you have calculated the cost of these changes, and probably even figured out who will oversee the change. Maybe you even figured out a time estimate of how much of your schedule will be devoted to implementing the change. However, what I am betting is that what…
The Upgraded 4 Burner Theory
A while back I read an excellent article by master blogger James Clear on what he called the 4-burner theory. Despite loving the overall concept, I rejected the idea of only having 4 burners. Partially I rejected the number 4 because I prefer odd numbers to even, partially because I just couldn’t quite get around…
Making Connections Through Sharing Simple Joys
If you believe the story my Mom tells, I could swim before I could walk. Evidently I was in baby swim lessons by the time I was something like 3 months old. Then I grew up near the water much of my life. So it surprised everyone, even me, when I moved to Colorado a…
Get Off The Raging River
Interpersonal anger can seem a lot like a wild, whitewater river, rushing us along swiftly until we crash into the rocks. It feels like one step leads inevitably to another, without options or choice. If you’ve had that experience with rage, you might want to slow your actions down and see that there are actually…
45 Ideas to Help Soothe, Inspire & Ponder
I turned 45 this year. In honor of this big birthday, here are 45 ideas, thoughts, musings that I’ve gained over the years. In my lifelong quest for learning, I am always on the lookout for data that will help make me a better person, or (hopefully) contribute to making the world a better place.…
The Important Truth About Sexual Assault
This is not a fun topic, but, although it is an upsetting one, it is a critical topic to begin to address in our culture. An article came across my computer the other day, revealing the “startling truth” about sexual assault cases. Basically, the article reports research that examines the results of backlogged rape kits…
The power of getting to one task at a time: Using the “Understand, Apply and Shift” model of problem solving.
This week I realized that things were feeling a little out of control. I took stock and realized that I have been slipping into the great American pastime of multitasking. What this looks like for me is books piled on my nightstand (literally, I’m in the middle of 6 books right now), multiple projects that…
Why Aren’t You...Me?
In collecting information about the various and sundry complaints people bring to me about their relationships, the themes and issues vary widely. I have heard everything from small issues (why are things thrown next to the laundry hamper instead of in it?) to irritations that grow over time (I’m a night owl, why does she…
The Power of Small Victories
As 2015 comes to a close (I’m writing this on New year’s eve), I am spending some time thinking about the year, and how I want to move forward into 2016. I am not much of a resolution maker, since I know both from piles of research, as well as many failed personal resolutions for…